Signs your cat owns you.

• At the store, you pick up the catfood and kitty litter before you pick out anything for yourself.
• You buy a video tape of fish swimming in an aquarium to entertain your cat.
• The Christmas cards you send out feature your cat sitting on Santa's lap.
• Your cat signs the card.
• You accept dates only with those who have a cat.
• If so, you eventually double-date with the cats to see how they get along.
• You climb out of bed over the headboard or footboard, so you won't disturb the sleeping cat.
• You cook a special turkey for your cat on holidays.
• You feed your cat tidbits from the table with your fork.
• You give your cat presents and a stocking at Christmas.
• You spend more for your cat at Christmas than you do for your spouse.
• You have more than four opened but rejected cans of cat food in the refrigerator.
• You have pictures of your cat in your wallet.
• You bring them out when your friends share pictures of their children.
• You kiss your cat on the lips?
• You microwave your cat's food.
• You prepare your cat's food from scratch.
• You put off making the bed until the cat gets up.
• You scoop out the litter box after each use,
• You wait at the box with the scoop in your hand.
• You select your friends based on how well your cats like them.
• You sleep in the same position all night because it annoys your cats when you move.
• You think it's cute when your cat swings on the drapes or licks the butter.
• You watch bad TV because the cat is sleeping on the remote.
• Your cat "insists" on a fancy Sunday breakfast consisting of an omelette made from eggs, milk, and salmon, halibut, or trout.
• Your cat eats out of cut crystal stemware because you both watched the same commercial on television.
• Your cat sits at the table (or ON the table) when you eat.
• Your cat sleeps on your head.
• You like it your cat sleeping on your head.
• When people call to talk to you on the phone, you insist that they say a few words to your cat as well,
• When someone new comes to your house, you introduce your cat, by name, to them.
• You introduce your visitor(s) by name to your cat.
• You stand at the open door indefinitely in the freezing rain while your cat sniffs the door, deciding whether to go out or come in?
• You would rather spend a night at home with your cat than go out on a bad date?