A for arthritis, B for bad back,
C is for chest pains. Perhaps cardiac?
D is for dental decay and decline,
E is for eyesight--can't read that top line.
F is for fissures and fluid retention,
G is for gas (which I'd rather not mention.)
H high blood pressure (I'd rather have low,)
I for incisions with scars you can show.
J is for joints, that now fail to flex,
L for libido--what happened to sex?
Wait! I forgot about K!
K is for my knees that crack when they're bent,
(Please forgive me, my Memory ain't worth a cent.)
N for neurosis, pinched nerves and stiff neck,
0 is for osteo- and all bones that crack.
P for prescriptions, I have quite a few.
Give me another pill; I'll be good as new!
Q is for queasiness. Fatal or flu?
R is for reflux--one meal turns into two
S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears,
T for tinnitus--! hear bells in my ears.
U is for urinary: difficulties with flow,
V is for vertigo, that's "dizzy", you know.
W is worry, now what's going 'round?
X is for X ray--and what might be found.
Y for another year I've left behind,
Z is for zest that I still have my mind.
Have survived all the symptoms my body's deployed,
And kept twenty-six doctors gainfully employed!